Every year I write about how the hoopla over the New Year
fails to impress me. It is just another day. Some years I feel like celebrating
and do celebrate. On other years I stay aloof from all of the revelry and
continue to be with my thoughts as is my wont. Most of the time its just S and
me, talking and sitting up late to ring in the New Year in our own special way.
Last year I had been through a really difficult phase just before the New Year
and decided to celebrate the fact that even in the worst of times, one could
find the inner strength to cope and emerge battle-weary but in one piece. This
year I decided to spend time with family back home in Kerala. There would be no
raucous celebration or revelry - just a simple holiday listening to stories and
talking about hopes and dreams and falling under the languorous spell of the
slow pace of life in Kerala.
I wonder why there is such importance given to the passing
of an old year and the ringing in of a new one. Most people take this time out
to think of what the year before has taught them and hope that the year ahead
brings more of what they want. I think of it all the time. Introspecting is a
way of life for me – in fact I overdo it. So at the end of a year, I do not
keep looking back or wonder what life has in store for me. I have learnt to
take one day at a time. It is good to keep in mind the experiences that made us
better or worse in some way but it is more productive to do that constantly
instead of at just one point in time where you feel duty-bound to do so.
Gratitude for life’s miracles and vicissitudes should be an
everyday emotion. We are all incredibly lucky to just exist and those who are
capable of true appreciation will make some effort to use it to make the world
a better place in some small way. If
there is anything I have learnt in the last 365 days, it has been that a
doughty spirit enriches life like nothing else. I started a vocational centre
for special needs children and youth with my wonderful partner and pal, Aks and feel a quiet sense of
satisfaction that we are fighting against autism in our own way. We are blessed
to have wonderful parents and friends who support us in our fight.
Last year, I had also decided to focus on family more than
ever because I now know how important is the happiness that comes from having a
family that is held together by real connection. I am also very proud of simply being me – a
fact that I have never celebrated before. One of the standards for true worth
is how you react in the face of extreme provocation. I had one such experience
and even armed with more than enough facts and as flexible a tongue as anyone
could desire, I did not stoop to the level of the benighted creature who tried
desperately to spew venom in the worst way by vilifying my innocent children. Targeting those who cannot fight back is a particularly low form of cowardice. However the lesson I learnt there is that rising above is always the higher road.
I also learnt many lessons on the value of love. How it is
possible to love in difficult circumstances, how it is possible to see very
clearly the imperfection of love that demands changes always and how
it is impossible to understand why anyone who says they care can silently be
complicit in causing you hurt. But then love is an oddity – it comes upon you
when you least expect it, it shakes you up and changes you forever , it makes
you cope with things when all else looks bleak. In order to live your best life
though, it is essential to love yourself completely first. And above all be honest with the person in
the mirror.
The year ahead I look forward to with eagerness. I have lots
of plans for the centre. I have great friends both old and new. I have a
husband whose face still lights up when he sees me. I have kids who are
blessings in every sense of the word. I have siblings whom I can count on no
matter how tough things get. I feel immense gratitude for the chance to see the
birth of another year and pray for the ability to live life to the fullest.
Have a blessed New Year my friends!
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