Sunday mornings with
the papers spread out before me and a cup of tea by my elbow are possibly my
favourite time of the week. I am not yet worried about Monday and the work that
is to follow. I am not feeling blue which is how I feel on a Sunday evening. I
am simply feeling relaxed.
I listen to some
instrumental music as I go about my day – checking on the garden, planning for
lunch and in today’s case – prepping for the evening’s party for Appu (it is
his nakshathram day today or pirannal as we call it). I like structure. I like
to know I am on top of things. Last minute changes confound me. For my friends
who know me well enough they also know why I am as I am. For the others, well,
I am just hard to understand.
My son mirrors my
patterns. He mirrors my need for structure. He mirrors my fear of too many
changes. It took me a long time to realize that all the things that make it
hard for him to deal with this world have their roots in me. Its just a lot
more in his case – so exaggerated as to leave anxiety in its wake. For me, I
can step back and understand that I need to let go. How am I to teach him this?
Maybe that’s why I
love Sunday mornings. Appu wakes late and likes it when his day is full of
surprises. I wake up late and potter about in whichever way I feel like. S
simply gets in front of his laptop. Mahi is up and dancing for she is the light
sprite who always makes me feel that I am too anchored. Her lightness is a
gift. Who wouldn’t be inspired by a child whose feet barely touch the ground!
How beautiful it would be if more of us were like that…
On a Sunday morning,
the possibilities are endless. I can do anything I want. I can also do
absolutely nothing. And the potential to do absolutely nothing is what makes
the day so delicious. Today I write without any aim in mind – not to convey
anything, not to teach anyone, not to fit into an outline that has been created
by someone else. I am writing because when I am quiet, its what comes most
easily to me.
There are too many
moments in the week when everything seems overwhelming, when no matter what I
do it appears deficient or simply useless, when there is frustration at finding
that people are not who they seem to be but I can cope with all that because I
have Sunday morning to fall back on. This week is hectic with work as well as
Onam sadya to get done not to mention the office inauguration. I have writing deadlines to meet. I have
people to keep happy but then there is always next Sunday to rejuvenate me at
the end of it all. Here’s to a happy Sunday for everyone!
