Walking always makes my thoughts flow. Today I found myself
thinking of time itself as I walked in the cool moonlight enjoying the scents
of frangipani and jasmine borne by the crisp breeze. All people had the same
amount of time in a day and yet they seemed to use it differently. During the
years I had stayed at home confined within the four walls of a house, time
seemed to move slowly and there appeared to be so much of it. Later when I
worked in a corporate set-up, there appeared to be time for nothing – no time
to look after the kids, no time to de-stress after a long day, no time to keep
in touch with friends. Then came a period where I had work and fun enough to
feel content. I had friends – new and old. I had passion for what I was working
on. I also had time for everything I wanted to have time for while keeping
busy. So time appears differently to different people and even to the same
person at different points in their lives. Nothing about time appears to be
absolute.
Why then did some people never seem to find time for those
they supposedly cared about? Everyone has loads of time to spare when they
enjoy your company or share your passion about something. As time passes
however and novelty fades, they don’t seem to want to spend time keeping in
touch. I understand that priorities change and of course everyone is in pursuit
of money and success. I work hard too but I make time for all the friends in my
life because they enrich my life. They all know that they can call me anytime if
they need to and I would try to cheer them up or simply listen to some rant
that needed an outlet. I reach out to friends often just to feel comforted at
the end of a really tough day. If you cannot share your little victories and painful
defeats with those you care about, then what is it that you can share? I would
rather not talk of the weather or what I had for lunch or what movie I watched
if there is something I wish to unburden myself of. But if one does not keep in
touch in the true sense of the word then all there is to talk about is the
superficial and not the meaningful. And superficial relationships are not
anything that I can ever invest time in.
When is the last time you called a friend you deeply cared about at some point in your life? When did you last take the first step in mending fences? When did you last cuddle with the kids under the quilt on a lazy Sunday morning or late at night just because they just wanted to feel that warmth? There will always be more 'important' things to do in life than spend time with someone you supposedly love but assume will be around always until the day comes when they aren't...
My priorities are my
family, friends and my centre– I don’t make much money but money was never my top priority – doing
what needed to be done was. Does single-minded obsession about keeping up with
the Joneses dilute one’s interest in actual relationships? Is the mantra of
making it big that important that you let friends fall by the wayside as you go
marching on heedlessly? I wouldn’t know.
I do know one thing however. No one likes waiting around
endlessly. Time is the biggest gift you can share with someone – not money and
certainly not empty words. If you do not have time for someone, it is far
better to state that openly than try to keep things alive as some kind of weird
backup plan. Keeping someone hanging in case they can be of some use is quite
an insult. If you really are that busy, then get used to losing people who once
cared. You probably will get where you wanted to go and you will also lose a
part of yourself. Time may be money but all the money in the world will not buy
you one moment of time...
