No greater gift

A brisk, no-nonsense sort of wind blows outside. It seems to say “ I have a lot of stuff to get done today and I am not going to take a break!”. I, on the other hand, am sitting inside my room feeling a little sleepy, a little warm from the hot coffee that’s in my belly and going off into my very own world where things happen differently. Its comforting and yet not completely cocooning for even in my warm world I feel the tendrils of reality slip in and yank painfully.

Inside my mind I see my son grown with someone to love by his side. He is happy and he is self-reliant and even to a certain extent successful. He is a scientist with a razor keen mind and an out-of-the-box thinking style that gets him accolades. He does not have to face the world’s prejudice or discrimination. He actually has people who care for him around him. He has his sister (who changes from a fashion model to an astronaut depending on the mood of the day) as his anchor and together they make their own place in this world.

Outside my imaginary world I am forced to think about the problem at hand. The school is taking the children to a park with a zoo that’s a little away from the town. They will be gone all day. The children are excited and anticipate the end of the week with relish. My daughter has not been on earth since I first read the circular and signed it (“please sign it right now Amma – I have to give it to ma’am – don’t forget or I won’t be able to go!”). I wasn’t aware that the trip was for all the kids – I thought it was for the little ones only.

It was only when I went to school to pick them up on my way back from running errands, that my son’s teacher approached me with a sheepish expression and said the trip was indeed for all the kids. She was a young girl not long out of college and had been assigned the embarrassing task of explaining to me that the special children would not be joining them because it would not be easy for the teachers to handle them for an entire day. I was told that my son was someone who loved trips and he wasn’t the problem they were talking about but they couldn’t discriminate among the 4 or 5 kids that made up the special group in school. I said “Of course” and walked away.

I did not feel very good the rest of the day. The school could wash its hands off my son but how was I to explain that only his sister was going? Weren’t they asking me to discriminate in my own home? My son was okay with it saying “Oh its a holiday?” and asking to be taken on a red bus just to go to town and back. That’s all he wanted – a bus ride. He didn’t say he felt bad. He didn’t say that he was such a well-behaved kid and why did they do this to him? His calm acceptance broke my heart. He wouldn’t even fight for himself.

I need to go out and fight for my son. If he is a part of the school, they need to take him on every bloody trip they organize or else just not have too-long trips. If they can’t handle special children, why do they charge 50k extra a year for them and then say they won’t treat them like they are a part of the school? What is the worst that will happen if I stand up for my son’s rights? They’d probably boot him out of the school. This was one of the few schools that thought special children should have a chance at integration. The other schools wouldn’t even give me the time of day. But the principle is what counts – whatever the result, I cannot ignore the fact that they hurt my child.

Reality has shown me that my own little world may never happen. But to me its a vision with which I keep myself motivated and inspired. A day will come when my son will reach his true potential. A day will come when he will be recognized. A day will come when he can fight his own fights. Till then I need to be there to tell him “Son, you are our blessing. You can teach the world how to love unreservedly – there is no greater gift.”