Destiny

There have always been various schools of thought when it comes to interpreting destiny. Some people believe that destiny is fore-ordained and so are your actions. You are not responsible for your actions and you are not to be blamed for your inadequacies. You could, if you want, be a serial killer and then blame it all on forces beyond your control or the lines on your head that lead you to fulfil the destiny that was to be yours. Such people also do not make meaningful mistakes but are usually defensive and full of excuses and manage to pass the burden of responsibility on someone other than themselves.

There are others who do not care about destiny at all but insist that they are the masters of their own actions and control their own fate. They believe that by taking initiative and deciding what they want in life, they can achieve their aims and thus create their own destiny. Most of such characters are usually referred to as self-made though there are a good enough number who are primarily handed the goal of their choice on a platter – however the choice is still theirs. The ones who believe in charting out their own course in life also do not fear making mistakes. They learn from it and chalk it down as experience and move on.

I grew up in a household where free will was considered secondary to God’s will. I was always told to surrender my ego and the path to follow would be clear. The principle of subjugation of one’s own will in favour of that of a higher power has long been in existence in Hindu philosophy but even then action has always been advised – only the fruits of such action were not to be desired. Acting in such a way would detach a person from his actions and leave him in a steady state whether joys, sorrows, victory or defeat fell upon him. But nowhere as far as I know was there any statement against living your life and choosing your actions. So surrender did not really mean that one had to blame all on destiny – for then why was man created at all? This problem troubled me during my growing years and I still have problems when my family goes into philosophical mode which is pretty often.

My husband on the other hand believed solely in the power of one’s actions and made no provision in his thinking for events that could happen outside his ‘plan’. He is a proactive guy who hates excuses and urges everyone to follow his or her dream. The division among my family members and my husband on the all important idea of destiny is so wide it is almost impassable. So on one side we have my mother, wringing her hands at her son not getting married and on the other we have my husband who says “Why drag God into this at all? Why can’t he just find a girl instead of expecting his mother and sisters to do it for him?” The situation is comical but not that easy to live with.

I have learnt over the years that to live your own life to the very best of your ability without recriminations or regrets and with a positive attitude will help you achieve you true destiny. So I believe in an ultimate destiny that is mine but I also believe that I cannot sit back and relax and expect it to just happen – hard work and an unfailing spirit are essential. There are no shortcuts to happiness.