I am terrified of driving. Its a physical fear akin to the fear of heights. My knees tremble, my heart races and I am short of breath at the very thought of driving. I have driven a few times in my life and actually did not find it bad. But each time I stop for a while I cannot get myself to do it again. The fear kicks in anew like this nasty disease that doesn't go away. The idea of going in traffic scares the life out of me - I imagine all kinds of scenarios where my mind refuses to work and I am stuck on a busy road at peak traffic time!
I do not have a license now - I let mine lapse and never bothered to get another one. I have a driver and have not felt the need to go through the process of re-learning everything just to subject myself to Bangalore traffic. But that being said I have to admit that the expense and my driver's very frequent tantrums drive me up the wall often enough to consider being completely independent on that front now and again. It sounds so silly when I write it down - how difficult can it be? There are innumerable Bozos on the road - why can't I nerve myelf to do it?
Well, for one I ahve never felt comfortable while driving. The car does not feel like an extension of myself but rather like an alien I am trying to subjugate. If I look to my left mirror while changing lanes (ha - in Bangalore no one changes lanes - they go how they want), my car moves left - if I look at the right mirror , my car moves right!! Ridiculous but true. Parking is another nightmare if I have to reverse into a space.I have this weird theory that right and left have the opposite meanings when I reverse - so I have to stop and think what to do before I go ahead - it does sound too awful for words when I write it down:-(.
Also I have no love for the clutch - why in God's earth do I have to deal with that? I never remember to press it when I press the brakes and so the engine shuts off dutifully. I absolutely hate that! My right and left legs simply refuse to work together in coordination which is why I am dance-challenged as well I think. I asked my husband whether we could go for an automatic and he siad if I don't learn to drive a stick-shift, I might as well not bother and why not use the two perfectly good cars here instead of selling one and getting an automatic? He has a point I admit but I can't even bring myself to try :-(
I wonder if there is any therapy for this?
1 comment:
Exactly like moi ! I have this terrrrrrible drivophobia too, Just cant get myslef on to it. I get petrified even if i am sitting on the front seat and someone over takes from the left ! or is that right :-)
And it makes me soooo Jealous to see all those guys zipping through in their cars !!! Sad !!!!
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