The Mayflower Tree

The evening was a fine one – typical of a June evening in Bangalore. The lawns in front of the houses looked lush and invitingly green. The sky was an ominous grey when I started walking. The wind was stiff and I was sure the clouds would move away before long. But they amassed in greater numbers till the sky darkened to a smoky twilight. My favourite sight as I walked about was the perky green of the Mayflower leaves vying for attention with the glorious orange-red blossoms set against the dull grey of a monsoon sky. The combination of bright green, glowing orange and heavy grey was stunning – the visual leaving behind a vivid image in my mind long after my walk was done.

I had started walking that evening feeling low, burdened by a deep sense of loss and the feeling of being particularly unsuccessful in life. Most of us over-thinkers have this problem I am sure. Difficult phases bring out my fighting side but it also means a constant struggle against giving into that too easy downward spiral of despair. Some days I win. Some days I lose.  I try to keep my head high through it all however. I do not know if I am successful at that either.

Looking at the Mayflower tree that appeared so cheery in the gloom of a drizzly evening, I marvelled at nature. How much more beautiful did the colourful tree appear poised as it was against a background of depressing grey! I am sure that I would not have been able to appreciate its beauty on a sunny day simply because the other flowering trees and plants would have appeared equally if not more beautiful. The happy yellow blossoms that littered the path along with the blinding white bougainvillea and the scarlet hibiscus blooms that abounded would all overshadow the Mayflower tree on a bright and sunny day. But none of them could match its beauty when the light faded and the atmosphere grew dark presaging bouts of rain.

It seemed to me that true beauty and strength of character shone through even when the light of ease and success faded – in fact, it appeared even more beauteous as storms threatened. An easy life can make anyone bloom and look lovely. A difficult phase has too many people either giving up or turning to self-destructive measures because they cannot take it a moment longer. I am weary of reading the endless stories in the newspapers of young mothers or students or betrayed lovers taking their lives or the lives of their children because they were unhappy. If they could but hold on a moment longer, they would see that those phases they could not bear were just temporary – everything would pass given enough time. The superficially cheery yellow blooms in the gardens around me could never face a storm and appear renewed although on good days they appeared indescribably lovely . It requires immense depth of character to hang on when there seems very little reason to and more importantly, to bloom and spread happiness when it is so very hard to shake away the clouds of uncertainty and remember to be grateful.

I returned home walking in the rain, smiling like a child at the feel of the cool drops against my warm skin. I turned my face to the rain and laughed at the sight of S running off home because he hates walking in the rain but would spend hours perched on a chair watching the rain from the warmth of our home. I walked slowly not bothering that my hair was beaded with raindrops. I still had the Mayflower tree pictured in my mind. And when I got home, I was smiling…