Dreams Unlimited

Today I have been pondering the feasibility of following a dream. A dream is not a joke – it requires passion, dedication and above all sacrifice in its successful pursuit. Very few people are lucky enough to have a real dream; fewer are lucky enough to obtain chances to follow it; even fewer make a success out of their dreams. I am not talking about the usual ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ kind of dreams. Those are not really dreams – those are just objectives which are accessible to anyone with a decent salary. They require no great courage. They require no sacrifice at all. They don’t even require passion. They just require you to follow a formula for how many ever years it takes to get that second house or third car or fifth elephant. 

I am talking about the kind of dream that keeps you awake at night – the kind that you picture in your mind every single day because the very thought of it brings you happiness. It is a bit like love itself – always demanding, taking you to the brink of delirious joy and plumbing you to the depths of despair. And like the best kind of love, it is about giving it your all without once thinking of what you get in return. The joy of fulfilment is enough – you don’t keep score in love and you don’t keep score when it comes to the effort involved in realizing your dream. Dreams too are labelled selfish; dreams too ask for sacrifice and dreams too make life worth living.

The main obstacle to my putting everything else on the backburner and burying myself in my writing is the sheer scale of the responsibilities I carry on rather slender shoulders. I am sure no one is indispensable and indeed no one should be but it is hard to walk away from what I have been doing for so long, even if it is for a few weeks or months. Family always came first in my book even at the cost of giving up every chance of an ambitious career. Now the centre is like my third baby. I find it all very satisfying and incredibly challenging.  And yet, ever since I can remember, there has been a part of me that has known that my truest love was and always will be the written word.

The dilemma therefore is the feeling that it would be selfish to follow my dream when I have so many promises to keep, when I have known first-hand the consequences of a dream followed too long and with too much sacrifice expected from those around you, when I owe it to my beautiful son to try my best to help him get to a level that would put us at rest about his future and make it easier on his little sister for she has had to grow up far too early to be the elder one in spirit. How could I possibly allow myself to dream when life itself takes me on roads so bumpy I can hardly catch my breath? I have no patience with people who give up in life and I never give up – ever. Perhaps the road will smoothen out  in a while. Perhaps the bumpy road will fill me up inside with the words that will find their way out when the time is right. Perhaps the dream itself will change in this short life – who knows…but till the dream leaves me, I will continue to hold it close to my heart.