Monday, March 11, 2013

Mind wanderings...



When your day has already started off on a bad note and gets increasingly frustrating as the hours pass, it is easy enough to give in and gripe. Things go wrong. They keep going wrong. There seems not much hope that things will suddenly begin to go smoothly. I was in a lousy mood. The unseasonal heat and my crazy hormones didn’t help either. I decided to forget about doing anything or thinking about the ever-present problems – at least for a while (that’s a very tough task for me normally) and engage my mind in something different. So I stopped tugging at my wayward locks, stopped worrying my lower lip, stopped looking at my phone aimlessly for divine intervention and let my mind wander for a while. I then decided to write about something that had caught my interest.

The item in question was a link sent by a friend yesterday – someone who occasionally sends me interesting pieces of music or well-written articles. It was a video – a few words preceded it in which the main characters were introduced as Marina Abramovic and Ulay. They were once in an intense relationship that apparently petered out as relationships are wont to do. Intensity after all comes with a steep emotional price tag attached. When they decided to part ways, they did so dramatically as befitted the performance artists they happened to be. They each walked the Great Wall of China from either end till they met in the middle for a final hug goodbye. They never saw each other again.

The video shows glimpses of Marina performing her show titled ‘The Artist is Present’ at the Museum of Modern Art. The show was her longest performance running from March to May of 2010. She sat day in and day out in a little square area facing, across a simple table, a member of the audience. She would spend a minute simply gazing at the other person. No talking or any other sort of communication was allowed. This happened continuously. One day without her prior knowledge, in walked Ulay who sat down opposite her as she waited with closed eyes to behold her next audience member. She opens her eyes to find her former lover sitting across with a hesitant smile. Her gaze grows soft and luminous as her eyes fill with tears. His face lights up with the same glow. The silence between them filled with the million memories a love of immense depth is bound to leave behind. She leans over slowly to grasp his hands. After decades, they meet again in the middle. She moves back as the minute runs its course and he gets up slowly, his eyes still on hers as he walks away.

I loved the video. It was simple. It was short. It was beautiful. Relationships do not last forever. One is fortunate to find love even fleetingly in a life that may not always give you chances for happiness. If you cannot afford the price tag on that intensity, it is better to walk away rather than let the relationship sour so much even your memories become tainted. Very rarely perhaps you get to revisit that feeling even if it is only for a minute. In the video, the transformation on that tired, ageing yet beautiful face was sublime. After Ulay left, the smile Marina bestowed on the next participant was radiant. The performance was complete. I watched it many times for the unadorned beauty of true emotion. No masks, no lies, no bitterness clouded that moment of pure love.

As usual I feel lighter after writing down words that probably hold meaning for no one else. My words are for myself alone, being the tangible wanderings of a mind overloaded with thoughts from which there is never any escape. The good part of letting your mind wander however is that when you get back to the task at hand, you do so refreshed and restored – its almost like taking a walk on a breezy summer evening...

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