For a little respect

The wait was irritating me. The mail said 11 and it was now almost an hour later. I had to get back home and work on half a dozen other issues. My head was awhirl with thoughts of how to solve this problem or that, the list of people I needed to talk to, the hateful job of following up on earlier follow-ups and so on. I tried to sit patiently enough and it was simply not working. As I fidgeted mildly in my seat, I wondered to myself – if this is how I handle being asked to wait unnecessarily, then how hard must it be for the youngsters who had been waiting at least as long as I had.

The occasion was the distribution of course completion certificates to a batch of special needs children. They had attended a three-month course on computer operations and iPad learning sponsored by a prominent software company in Bangalore. The youngsters varied in age from 12 to 19 I think. I saw the familiar worried yet bravely smiling faces of the parents leading their wards by the hand. I saw the lost look in many of the children’s eyes. I saw their acute discomfort in the crowd that led to incessant rocking or flapping or muttering. That was the way they coped with what to them was a barrage of unpleasant stimuli. Every single experience was accompanied by a sensory overload – for these children, each day posed herculean challenges. And they had so few to champion their cause – when would the day come that these children could simply be accepted for what they were? Not any time soon I thought to myself disconsolately.

The program had yet to start when my companion, who was my son’s school principal was asking a parent how the course had helped his child since we were now going to start it at the school. He says in front of his smiling son “Oh he picked up some stuff – its not like he’s normal so he didn’t really understand most of it.” I bit my lip in anger. He could’ve had the decency to not refer to his own child like that in his hearing. With a lack of total acceptance from their own families, how were these children to seek acceptance from the society at large? Forget acceptance, weren’t these children deserving of dignity and respect like any other human being? Yes they are imperfect – so is everyone else on this planet.

The function finally started and progressed tediously with the children already agitated and uncomfortable. Then an open session was declared so that the children could come forward and sing or present something as they wished. A tall, lovely, beautifully dressed young girl (she must’ve been thirteen or fourteen) came hesitantly and aimlessly towards the front and took the mike. She began singing in a completely flat and uninvolved fashion unable to look up and face the audience even for a second. As she struggled through her first song and began a second, something changed – she began raising her head and looking around her slowly. She started squaring her shoulders ever so slightly and a smile flowed tentatively on her face . I sat quietly with my hands clasped tightly feeling in my being the tension she must be going through. I didn’t take my eyes off her face for a second. Suddenly she looked up and across the room at me and smiled a beautiful innocent smile that touched me to the core. I smiled back and she looked at me through the whole of the rest of her performance. It was like she knew I was cheering her on – wanting to see how her beauty bloomed with that little touch of confidence and with the magic of music. Her job done, she gave away her mike and went back to her mother. We all applauded enthusiastically.

I know that a lovely girl like that will have to overcome almost insurmountable odds in a society like the one that is in India. People will take advantage of her. She will not be able to speak for herself. Her mother must be dying slowly as her daughter’s beauty became more apparent everyday. And yet for moments such as this when the young girl was radiant in her joy, her mother could forget perhaps all the worry and the pain – just for a moment, mind you – but even a moment’s respite from weary burdens can keep us going on and on.

I came back home still filled with the thoughts of that girl and others like her. I saw lots of families wholeheartedly supporting their children amidst a few who continually spoke less than favourably of their own sons and daughters. I saw a few steps being made in the direction of providing the children with some kind of skills to make them more self-reliant. I didn’t see any effort at trying to teach the children the skills to survive in an antagonistic society. I worry about how they will cope. I am a parent too. I long for the day when my child and others like him will be treated just like anyone else – with respect for the unique personalities that they are. I know that it will not come any time soon however but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying...