It is definitely an addiction. She’s smart, a lovely deep red, looks hot and fits in my hand perfectly. She throws none of the tantrums that an overstrung smart phone does. I mean you can actually hold her any which way and type messages to anyone while being driven at speed over potholed roads - try doing that with an iPhone or a Samsung Galaxy and you will immediately understand what I mean. On top of that you don’t have to wave your hand or gesticulate in one fell swoop to answer or more importantly to disconnect the phone – all you have to do is click buttons normally and even emphatically if you so desire. Try being emphatic with a smart phone and all you get is a headache.
So my Blackberry is a thing of beauty and utility while my husband’s touch screen phone to me looks like an unmitigated disaster except for the games. It acts like something I’d give a kid and not something I would want to use while making vitally important calls. I simply cannot send a message on that thing to save my life. It is important to position your nails (I have nails) somewhere in the upper right quadrant of the numbers/letters on the screen if you actually want that number or letter to be typed. Who the hell has time for that? I would rather just use my thumbs and click away at high speed and get the message done rather than vexedly deleting every wrong letter I have managed to somehow get typed. Smart phones are really not very smart or they would come with buttons like any sensible piece of equipment.
The main advantage of using one of those touch-screen disasters is that the children have no interest in attacking my phone but instead make a beeline for my husband’s phone when they have had enough of cartoons and the laptops. My phone is fine for them to listen to songs on but gaming looks so ancient that I happily have had no reason to fear for my phone’s safety whereas my husband’s phone frequently freezes, hangs and locks up after the twosome’s loving ministrations. Such peace of mind cannot be purchased at any price, I assure you.
On top of all these wonderful features that come free with the smart phone, my major grouse is that it is really quite useless for a multitasking wizard like myself. I can answer the phone while doing almost anything. That however is solely under the assumption that it can be operated with one hand (please do not tell me about voice commands). So I click the answer button with one finger, prop the phone under my ear and get on with whatever chore I am performing at the moment. But when my husband is in the shower and yells at me to answer the phone while I am in the crucial stages of making that coconut fish curry, I have to first run and wipe both hands, do the weird swishy wave and attempt to cock the thing under my neck before trying to salvage the finely chopped onions for the tempering – invariably the call disconnects and the tempering gets messed up. If it were my little Curve, that would never have happened – happy fish curry, happy me would’ve been the only result.
Therefore I have decided to rename the smart phone to the ‘oversmart’ phone – smart when least needed and way ‘oversmart’ at all other times. Give me my non-smart phone any day!
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