Words unsaid

Michael Jackson is no more. It is still a bit of a shock to know that the highly talented star who had been on a downward spiral for the last decade or more had died alone with but a doctor by his side during his last moments. He had been steadily killing himself over the years with an unhealthy lifestyle, obsession with greatness, addiction to painkillers and complete disregard for his body’s needs. He was a fine healthy young man at the peak of his career when one fire accident caused the downturn that stopped only with his death.
It is hard for a regular person such as myself to understand why such an obviously gifted person could not find contentment or happiness. He had his talent and the adoration of multitudes but was pitifully lonely. He could not love himself. He had no soul mate. He had no regular joys in life. He indulged in excesses that were so far beyond normal, they existed in a sort of fantasy realm. All that however did not complete him or fill the void he must have felt each hour of his days and nights. Unnatural and early fame unmanned him to the extent that he felt himself above normal and lost his grounding. Indeed in the last few years he was more an object of ridicule with his endless charades and widely known debts and ever increasing dependence on quack doctors for relief. He lost every bit of his fortune and was probably almost destitute at the end.
In the end his story is not unique for there have been too many such cases when a volatile mix of fame, drugs and sex has sent a great talent to an early grave. MJ’s excesses were admittedly almost without precedent but the style is similar. What really bothered me was the fact that he died alone. How it must have hurt to realise even for a split-second that he had no more chances left to redeem himself in his eyes and those of the world. Did he want to say a final goodbye to his children? Did he feel the need to see his parents or siblings? Did he want to thank someone or apologise to another before he felt at peace? To die unfinished is the greatest tragedy for after all death is universal and not a tragedy by itself whereas leaving unsaid the final words that are searing your mind as you head towards the end must be scary.