My Caramel was taken from me almost 3 months ago. He was my
golden boy, the cat who was a part of my heart, the one whom I remember every
day. I try to forget that the lady next door had him taken to a place that she
refuses to this date to reveal the address of. I try to forget that she was
abusive to my daughter. I tried to forget that her husband messaged me that I
better not go in search of my cat and that my children and I had no right to
even see pictures of Caramel. But I cannot. I know that the better way to
handle this is to let things be. And yet somehow I simply cannot.
The only reason I manage to get by without him is that I have
his two daughters Caju (caramel jr) and Ponnu. They look so much like him that
it eases my heart. Caju is a miniature version of her dad whereas Ponnu has his
voice, his adorable trot and his naughtiness. They both like ghee dosas like
their dad. They both climb the window meshes with the same alacrity that their
dad used to show. And they both are as cute as their dad was. But what they are
not, is friendly. They are 5 months old and while occasionally they allow me to
cuddle with them, for the most part, they are independent. They don’t come and
lie down on my laptop when I am working. They don’t follow me around and give
me special attention when I am ill. They don’t curl up in any little gap they
can find as long as its close to me. That was all Caramel. And its so hard to
forget all of that.
I wonder what it is in a human heart that can make a person
so selfish that they think its okay to hurt others with impunity. I wonder why
the lady is continually lauded while my children and I are ostracized for
fighting for our cat. Don’t animals have rights? Or do only certain animals
belonging to certain people have rights while the rest of us have to hope and
pray that their eyes don’t turn upon our pets in anger?
Anger and hatred are corrosive emotions. I know that. I
cannot help feeling both of them towards the lady who knowingly hurt my
children so callously. I don’t believe in fairness or justice. I know that
there is no right and no wrong in this world as it is today. A world where a
cat has no right to live and where children are made to cry in their sleep
because they do not know how else to cope with the pain of a lost pet.
I tell my children that Caramel is safe and he is plump and
he is happy. I tell them many lies so that they hurt less than I do. My golden
boy is living the life of his dreams, I tell them. I so wish I had someone to
tell me that too…
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