New years are like birthdays. They mark
time in a way that is meaningful to people. Every single day time passes us by
with the majority of us doing that which would probably go unnoticed. We go
about, creatures of routine, going to work and coming back, taking care of our children or our homes or our pets, our ‘fun’ days earmarked by tight scheduling, our
perspectives of happiness gleaned from the lives of those around us or from
movies or billboards. We are told that this is the time to change for the
better. There is immense pressure to ‘do’ something special to commemorate the
passage of time that you know you have not spent wisely. I wonder why it is so.
Its fun to celebrate whenever you feel the need for it. I sometimes wake up
happy for no reason. I also wake up terribly sad with every thought going
determinedly in the downward direction despite every distraction I can think
of. So, we are in essence creatures of whim. Why then do we celebrate New Year
on cue?
The answer is that it is always good to
introspect. Look back at the past year and examine what within you has changed
for the good or for worse. I have become tougher because I have had to deal
with tougher challenges. I have become more persnickety and less patient perhaps
because I am growing older and have no time for the kind of foolishness that
actually hurts others. Today I look back and feel real sorrow for not writing
my book this year. I feel remorse at all the times I could’ve handled
situations better. I feel pride at doing things I never really knew I could do.
I also feel a certain level of weariness that I have such a long way to go
before I can ultimately rest.
New year’s day is a celebration for many
but it always leaves me pensive. A look over the shoulder to moments of happiness, to days
that are best forgotten, to the empty pages that haven’t been filled, to the
kids growing up, to the increase in depth of old friendships, to the
understanding that comes only from having lived a life against tough odds –
that’s what New Year means to me – a reckoning, a taking account, a pause to
reflect, be grateful and then move on. One day at a time. Hoping to make a
difference in at least a handful of lives. Hoping that one day autism will be
easier to tackle. Hoping that I have the courage to write the way I want to. Hoping
that gratitude finds its way into my heart every day. Here’s to a New year
filled with hope…
1 comment:
good writing
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