Light...

Every year at Diwali, I think along the same lines. I have never prayed for more wealth or undue prosperity or felt entitled to receive just because I choose to ask.  More wealth is of course nice to have but in my mind there are other things that I would rather work hard for and when I pray, it is only for guidance. In my mind there can never be a bargain between me and God with me promising to do certain things while God in return assures me of certain rewards. Also, if you do purported acts of piety with a negative mind set in order to bring harm to anyone, then the prayer becomes a curse on to your very self. Therefore be careful what you ask for in prayer, you may actually get it and then you also have to face the consequences. Far better to pray for strength and guidance to get through the bad phases we all have in our lives.

The lights I see around me on Diwali signify illumination on a dark road. They tell me its alright to be scared sometimes, to be unsure of which path to take, to know that a path is tough and yet choose to stick with it simply because there will always be a guiding light. The light doesn’t promise miracles – only to banish the darkness which keeps you from moving ahead. The path is not easier but you see enough to make a choice or to avoid the harshest bits or sometimes what you see is a smoother stretch beyond what seems to be the worst stretch you have ever encountered. The light is hope itself.

I walk in the avenue in front of my house always. Walking sets me free to think. My body knows what to do as one foot follows the other on an oft-trodden path and my mind can therefore be safely engaged elsewhere. If S is with me then we talk of all things. If I am alone, I let my mind roam free. The past few days, I have seen lights in most of the houses along the avenue. There are many kinds – dazzling yellow, garish green, brilliant blues, racy reds. There are the softer lights of the diyas too though perhaps in only one or two houses. 

As we walk past the houses, the power goes off as it does with increasing frequency these days. All the garish lights vanish. There is only the cool darkness which feels deeper because my eyes have been blinded by the lights just seconds ago. As I walk past my house, there is light from the diyas that the children and I have lit. They are not uniformly pretty diyas. Some of them have been painted by the children. Some have been gifts from friends. Some I have bought from shops. They are an eclectic mix but they are all humbly earthen. They are slightly messy because they leave a trail of sesame oil from the cotton wicks. But they are beautiful and they stay lit even when there is no power. Like guidance from a power greater than ours. They are a promise that you are never alone whichever path you choose to walk upon.

As the reflection of the light from the diyas plays on the innocence of my children’s faces, I pray they will always have love in their lives. As S smiles across their heads and watches me replenishing the diyas with oil, I pray that his dreams come true this year. As the lit lamps cast a glow on my hands, I pray for clarity of thought and for new beginnings. To my family and friends, I wish the light of hope and humility stays with you during troubled times this coming year and always….Happy Diwali.