Evening rains...

The rains beat down with a fury and I watched, entranced, from my cosy corner. The palms were buffeted in the wind. Little puddles appeared and seemed to boil over with a surfeit of drops attacking from all directions. I knew the fury would be short-lived and all of it, the lashings of rain, the howling of the wind, the thunder – would fade away in a few minutes. I smiled – nature was quite a performer herself. I love watching the rains – it always makes me feel like my very soul has received a fresh scouring. The crisp, freshly washed air enlivens both mind and body. My whole being perks up and feels revitalized. 

Today’s rains reminded me of farewells. I have always needed closure in my life for everything. Many times however I have had to cope with an event in my life where there was no chance to end things nicely. I have never forgiven myself for missing the chance to say a final farewell to my father. Open endings are tough to handle. A part of the pain ceases to go away because you have forever lost the chance to say the words that you think would have made a difference – small words that have great importance – “good-bye”, “sorry”, “thank you” – the words remain unsaid and the scar that grows over, always feels tender to the touch.

Much like rain, farewells too, can be blessings. Done with the right spirit, they can cleanse you. You look back and see clearly the turns in your path where you have stumbled or someone else has laid a trap for you or where the path itself turned treacherous and you decide that it was all for a yet-to-be-revealed purpose. You bid farewell to the hurtful feelings, to the pain of having stumbled badly and you move on – with or without the chance to actually say goodbye. Words have always mattered to me but even I have learnt that there are certain occasions in life where only silence will work. Silence, when consciously chosen, is the best farewell.

The evening grew quiet after the short and furious spell of rain. How swiftly it had passed and how beautiful the silence felt after all the vented fury! This calm is when I find myself almost lost in contemplation. The silence is soothing and I feel cocooned from my everyday worries. There is so much to relish in the moments when you can be one with the world around you. Even thoughts cease to arise for a moment. The continuous seething of colliding words disappears and you are left with just the incredible sensation of being at peace.

I learn anew from every rain. The message I hear in the drumming of the drops is that of hope – everything can be cleansed, refreshed and renewed. You only have to open your mind to receive the blessings coming your way. I learn to inhale the scent of benediction, to be grateful and to walk fearlessly in the rain.