A gift...

There are moments in life when you are surprised in a way that you never forget. The surprise may last or it may be ephemeral but for that moment all you can do is accept almost in a spirit of reverence that which is gifted to you unexpectedly. One such moment came my way a few days ago.

I was at Appu’s school dreading yet another open house session. These sessions are long , interspersed with accounts of what the teachers are working on with the students, how they are planning to overcome the difficulties and usually how we were not to be bothered about the slow pace of academics because the work habits needed to be tackled before knowledge could be imparted. I have been hearing versions of this for years. It was only last academic year that I placed my son in this newly started special school – he had always been in a regular school prior to that. His former school had no interest in special needs children apart from the extra money they brought in. He was therefore left free to play or merely walk around and was quite happily stuck in the grade level he found least problematic. Therefore my wariness of schools continues – I am forever afraid of hearing something I will not be able to handle.

I was proud of my child, no doubt and yet the dread I am describing would not cease to haunt me. The idea of helplessly watching as some children battled their almost insurmountable behavioural and nervous disorders in order to do the smallest of tasks – that which everyone takes for granted was never easy. All I could see was the pain – their determination escaped me entirely. Each time I had to visit the school. I would wake with a headache and go through the morning so tensed that a coiled spring was relaxed in comparison. I won’t lie – it is hard to accept that my son needs to be in a special school for he is so social and such a bundle of talent that I have never ceased blaming myself for not being able to unlock his potential.

The morning passed by in a series of discussions and demonstrations while I waited to see what the remedial class was going to show us. That was Appu’s class – there are four of them in his group and they are all uniquely gifted. I have watched them in class before and knew they had miles to go in order to learn to sit and focus, to do independent work, to be quiet while others answered, to ignore distractions like a partly opened door or a mooing cow from the farm next door or even a child crying downstairs.

I got out of the hall to call and check on my daughter who was at a neighbour’s house and spied Appu’s class teacher standing by the veranda. I walked up to her and started talking, telling her how impossible it was to get my son to study and do homework. She eyed me with a slightly disappointed expression and said “Please don’t talk like that about my child!.” I laughed and apologized – and promised to try harder for the next open house demo which Appu and I were to put up.

The principal then called us in again and it was the turn of the remedial class to show off. They walked in – four kids of different ages and sizes with the same cocky walk and big grins on their faces. They arrayed themselves in front of the teacher and helped her set up. The moms sat in a row behind them since we didn’t want them to be distracted.

The teacher drew a scoring table on the board and explained the rules of the science demo. Each child was to come to the board and draw a diagram and explain about it in detail. A golden star would be given for the diagram, one more for a good presentation and a bonus star for good behaviour (even simple stars are great motivation !). They were to answer questions and present in a chosen order.

The kids agreed. The questions then began and I couldn’t believe what I saw – four eager hands flying up – everyone wanting to answer at the same time! Appu kept looking back at me for approval and saying loudly “pick me ! pick me!”. We moms looked at each other in amazement. The questions began and it was Appu’s turn to go first. He answered all the questions and went to the board to draw a caterpillar which was his chosen topic. This child who hates drawing and finds it incredibly difficult to copy even the simplest of figures walked up confidently and drew an actual caterpillar – true it was mostly the suggestion of a caterpillar and was by no means a very good depiction but anyone seeing it would instantly know what it was and besides it was smiling!

He then proceeded to talk about caterpillars clearly and confidently albeit halting at certain moments when shyness made him look away from his audience. I heard him spout facts I never knew. I heard terms used that I had no clue that my child was even aware of. This little guy who till a year ago had to restart from the basics so that the gaps in his academics could be bridged, was actually dealing with science projects now!

Each and every one of those children presented beautifully. Each knew and helped out when the others seemed to falter. Each looked around for approval with shining eyes and huge smiles. I saw the same mixture of pride, surprise and tearfulness in the other mothers’ eyes. I did not try take a video or a picture or try in any way to capture the moment for it was indelibly etched in my heart already. No picture can match the image of my son taking that huge step to learning and discovering the joy of knowledge. No video can reproduce the thrilling feeling of being witness to a change I’ve longed for for years. No record can be made of the change in body language that a child displays when for the first time he feels a sense of pride in himself. I am overwhelmed by a deep sense of gratitude for being blessed with the gift of a moment such as this one. Here’s to many more....