Bollywood Bonanza

I cannot turn on the TV at all without being bombarded with images of scantily clad females in every channel. Yes, I do know that at least 50% of the population are enjoying this and even small kids and pre-teens get a big kick out of the whole Bollywood song and dance routine. But honestly doesn’t it pall after the first one thousand close up shots of almost-boobs and endless thighs? How many different kinds can there be after all? Not a single Hindi movie gets made without at least one ‘item-number’ – for those of you who are not Indian, this translates as an excuse for the director/producer to bring in almost completely undressed women doing pelvis-dislocating routines in case the heroines are a little coy about showing acres of flesh because the ‘script calls for it’ (what script? Hindi movies never have one)

Imagine a poor unsuspecting person watching a Hindi movie. The movie starts off with the hero landing in a helicopter or some such nonsense and an extravagant song routine follows where the mother of the hero features prominently (she is , thankfully, fully covered). The hero then does the rest of the heroics and right in the middle of an emotional dialogue between father and son, up pops the item number. Why would someone in harem pants and/or leopard skins be dancing in the middle of the living room around a pole in broad daylight is anyone’s guess but dance she does with the father and son ceasing hostilities till the number is done and resuming shortly after. This would be the script of a blockbuster hit – I don’t do flops – and in case this dosage of see-all costumes is not enough, a title track is added after the movie is made!! This is to keep you in your seat after the movie is finished and to raise funds for the poorly-clad women on screen I’m guessing.

I understand that men may get ,er, titillated by the sight of toned bodies gyrating on screen but even some of them feel that there’s simply too much and the novelty’s long since worn off. And yet the Hindi film industry has a huge fan following. People don’t mind being taken for a ride or the lack of a script – all they want is entertainment. For those of us who come from states where the regional film industry actually bothers to create cinema, it’s a bit baffling. I grew up watching great cinema (both English and Malayalam), wonderful acting and meaningful stories on film. I can watch a Hindi movie only after suspension of all brain-activity or as a stress buster after say, a bout of examinations or a killer project. I am definitely in the minority here in Bangalore but I shall continue to single-handedly defy the meaningless stupidity that is the average Hindi movie.