Self-Entitlement

How many of you have had to work really hard for the things you wanted, even for things you needed? How many of you have felt the frustration of being almost there but not quite? How many of you have felt the terror that comes from the very real possibility that you may lose everything? I am sure many of you have at some time or the other gone through at least one of these scenarios as have I. I am also sure that there are a few who have been able to skim through life on browse mode – never really working hard or meaningfully but coasting along on someone’s luck or compassion for ineptitude. It is possible to live like that – to live as if the world owes you something for your mere existence. 

The idea of self-confidence is something that I believe in. It is great to respect yourself enough so that no one takes you for granted or undervalues you. There is a thin line between confidence and an almost delusional sense of arrogance though. If, because of luck or hard work, you have gained an enviable position in society, confidence is natural. If, however, this very confidence makes you think that you are better than everyone else and deserve to be treated special even when you aren’t doing a thing to earn it, then that is a really quick way to annoy those around you. Even worse are the characters who have always sought excuses for not making it in life. They find ways to be victims. They find faults in everything and everyone other than themselves. They think it is everyone else’s sworn duty to help them. They think that their mere existence entitles them to certain benefits. It is amazing how merit is never in the picture for the self-entitled.

In my line of work and in my personal life I have met a few people I wish I had not come across. In my centre, my partner and I have come across people who are indefatigably helpful and inspiring but we have also known those who come to us and do nothing productive to help the kids. They range from the rare parents who cannot see other special needs kids in roughly the same boat as their kids with even a smidgeon of empathy or compassion to others who wish us to help them in every possible way while themselves doing absolutely nothing to help even their own child. It has made me burn with anger time and again. Is it so hard to open your heart up to help your own child ? Forget about helping other children – if you cannot support your own child who so badly needs unflinching acceptance, then really what is the point?

I also get upset when I find time in life to run a school, take classes, take care of a house, make killer meals, deal with my son who needs that extra help, make sure I don’t neglect my daughter, write, help my husband in his project work as an independent consultant and exercise every single day come rain or shine and I am faced with people who say “Well I tried and it’s not happening. You didn’t help me enough. You didn’t hold my hand. Yes you can do all of that but so what, everyone can’t be like you! You need to do more for me – I am entitled.” I get angry – hell I am angry – I am done trying to help and I am so done expecting even a modicum of courtesy and decency from people who have taken complete advantage of my nature.

If there is a God in heaven, and believe me there are many days when I know there is no such presence, if there is justice in earth or heaven, if there is any meaning to life at all, then the self-entitled would be given short shrift every step of their miserable lives so those who know the value of working hard are left in peace. This life is not easy for many people and while I am not asking for help, I hope that those who choose to be unhelpful can at least refrain from making things more difficult. Have a heart for crying out loud…