Our Onam

Onam for me brings with it a host of memories. The memories are not of the festival itself for I did not grow up celebrating it in Kuwait. When we returned to Kerala after ten years of living outside the country, I spent Onam holidays at my grandmother’s village. The time of year, the month that Keralites refer to as Chingam, saw my native land at its most beautiful. It was the perfect month -days of balmy breezes with the scent of water lilies wafting in the air, sighting the tiny white thumbas and the impossibly blue kaakapoovu in the paddy fields, enjoying weather that was neither hot nor depressingly rainy. Being in Kerala in the month of Chingam, you would understand why King Mahabali of old had asked Vamana for only one boon – the right to visit his subjects in Kerala once a year; for in this particular month, it truly does appear like heaven on earth.

This year, for the first time in what seems like ages, I did not invite friends over for a sadhya (the traditional feast) at our home.  It didn’t feel right. I would miss seeing on Onam day, the faces of friends who meant a lot to me. It was all part of the tradition S and I had created for our little family. Even the children were upset that they we would not have guests for the sadhya.  Another part of me was grateful to other friends for inviting us to share Onam with them. So I felt torn. There was, on the one hand, the guilt for not doing everything myself and on the other hand, the feeling of gratitude at having friends who gave me the luxury of being pampered together with the comfort of great company. S as usual, told me to just relax and enjoy the fact that difference from tradition too can be fun. So I did.

The sadhya at our friend’s house was wonderful with each of us from four families, contributing to the lavish spread. Everything tasted perfectly delightful and I knew as I shared the feast, that on my own, I could never have done so much or so well. There was laughter in abundance. There were stories. There was praise all around for the superb food. By the end of the afternoon, we were all satisfied and somewhat sleepy after all that food. So I invited everyone over for tea later in the evening and they promised to show up.

We got back home and our other friends started visiting – one after the other. I was delighted. We showed off S’s glorious temple elephant ‘pookalam’ (flower carpet) to much ‘oooohs’ and ‘aaaahs’. There was more laughter as people continued to troop in. Old friends met new friends and everyone bonded over cups of tea and snacks and more payasam. It was late by the time the last friend left.  S and I looked at each other with a satisfied smile. It was one of those perfect days. I felt truly blessed to have so much love in my life. The laughter of friends, the generosity of hearts we chose to share our lives with, the acceptance without judgement – all these were gifts that were truly precious. I hope and pray that every year sees us happy and that all our friends continue to grace our lives – most of all I hope that as my children grow up they too learn that the true message of Onam is the joy of giving with open hearts…