For 2015

Days go by fleetingly and not so fleetingly. Thoughts vanish and come back entwining themselves around each other tighter and tighter. People pass through your life like water through a sieve. Others care enough to hold your disparate selves together and create depth and fulfillment. Family is perhaps one’s strongest motivation to keep going. Friends too keep your spirit charged long after you thought you would not have the simple courage required to face the same challenge in its myriad forms day in and day out.

Last year and indeed every year so far has taught me lessons that I hope I internalize enough to grow wiser. This past year was both amazingly good and achingly tough. There were months when nothing seemed to go my way. There were also months when I could feel burdens lifting from my weary shoulders so that the relief was pure heaven. I finished writing my book. Of course I have yet to polish it. I am far too lazy to do that bit. And yet I did write the book I have been promising myself I would.

I also stood up for myself a lot more this past year. It was hard for someone more used to doubting herself to actually say “I am right. I won’t compromise.” There’s a simple lesson anyone would find useful – don’t let anyone make you feel small. If you work with all your heart, if you have given everything to a relationship, if you have invested time in anything – you are worthy of respect. Anyone who does not know how to treat another with respect, deserves none in return. There are many instances when those that disrespect you are from an older generation – the best you can do when that is the case is to ignore it and keep your distance. This goes for both your personal and professional life. Regardless of the engagement, respect is essential – everything else builds on it.

I found that silence is a friend and helps in dealing with so many different situations. There is a silence to deal with hurt, there is another sort to deal with deliberate efforts to put you down and there is a silence to deal with boorishness. People cannot use your words against you if you keep quiet. Always see if the recipient deserves the words that are yours alone to give. Weigh what you say and stay away from those who belittle your words.

Another lesson I learnt was the power of words to lift another from a really bad place, to paint the other in the colours in which you see him or her so that in that moment when they feel their worst, they get to see how special they are to someone else. It is love that can help your loved ones grow stronger. It is what gets you over rough patches. It is what you should be true to, love for your family, for the children that count on you to shape their lives and for the work that you have been put on earth to complete.

If the past year taught me anything at all, it was that everything passes on – the good, the bad, the painful. What remains is your belief in yourself to stand tall. Here’s hoping that 2016 brings my friends a renewed sense of purpose, the ability to love simply and the art of being grateful for the blessing that is your life.