To the new year...

It has always been the norm with me that I have invariably felt forced into new year celebrations. I had never seen the point in ringing in the new – for me January 1^st was just a date that would make no difference to the world as I knew it. I would still be up before everyone else, I would still make breakfast, I would still have a cup of tea while perusing the morning papers, I would still wait till the rest of the family left their warm beds to wander in sleepily while I set about making that second pot of tea. So how was it any different from any other holiday? Why did people make such a fuss about resolutions to be kept, about looking back on a year which is as pain filled or joy filled as any other? Unless a day is marked by change from within, how can it make a difference at all to our little worlds or the collective, larger existence?

This year I gave it all some more thought. I had now no objections to celebrating anything because for me, personally, the past year has been more about experiencing things that I have never before undergone and learning valuable lessons about my nature. I learnt that its never a good idea to have relationships with people who have a thimble full of affection to give you in return for an ocean of it. Anyone who doubts and measures and scrapes away at you is merely looking for their reflections to love. Be this way or I won’t like it. Walk along the path I have marked or you are wayward. No one needs that in their lives. We live on earth for but fleeting moments and these are better spent in gratitude and appreciation instead of in trying to become something that thankfully we are not.

I learnt that cultivating detachment is an art I need to work on. My husband is excellent at it and he thinks I have come a long way from my easily upset self. I now actually refrain from responding in anger whenever I can. Its not easy because I often feel my anger is justified but honestly it does no good at all to lose my temper – its a sign of weakness rather than strength. 

I also learnt that a passion harboured and nurtured for years will come to fruition when the time is right. For years I had been whining in frustration about the lack of options for special needs children. I saw myself and my son as victims till I realized that in fact we have the power to bring about change that we want and so last year saw the work that went into creating a centre with someone whose passion and dreams made it all possible – in two days the centre opens its doors to the first batch of children and young adults.

So this year I felt obligated to celebrate – with so much learning and accomplishment, it seemed the right thing to do. I was lucky to be able to spend new year’s eve with family and friends who cared - it felt like a good beginning to a year which I see with hope and the desire to have more fulfilment than before and perhaps even more understanding about life itself which is a quest I had embarked on since I was in my teens. So may the new year bring us all more growth, understanding, forgiveness and joy...here’s to 2013!