How do you look at a person? What is it that starts the
process of evaluation and judgment? At what point do you decide that the person
is worthy of attention or common courtesy or even superficial interest? I guess
that looks have a lot to do with it – a good voice influences people positively
as well but more than anything a sincere smile does it for me. I love those who
smile straight from the heart with none of the grimaces that an inflated sense
of self-importance creates. When the smile reaches the eyes, it lights up the
face from within – that is what I find most appealing about those I choose to
have around me. S has this in abundance, so does my son – Mahi is growing a bit
self-conscious but whenever she is her regular 8 year old self, she has the
most dazzling smile indeed.
My little friend Riya smiles like the sun. She is dark
chocolate hued with bright eyes, glowing skin and perfectly proportioned limbs – a small-scaled
joyous entity that never fails to make us all grin like kids. I lost my heart
to her fairly early in our acquaintance as she sat quite composedly for ages as
her mother went about her chores very very slowly! She would venture out of the
kitchen hesitantly at first and then with increasing confidence as she realized
we were quite alright with her exploring the house. She loves my puris and aloo
and quite cheekily asks me for aloo every time I give her rotis with jam or any
other accompaniment. She eats daintily, breaking her puris into little pieces
and slowly relishing the aloo to make it last. She also grabs her glass and
bangs it against the counter to focus my attention on the fact that she wants
tea which she then emphasizes with a firm “Didiii, chaaaa!” I sometimes think I
look like a walking tea urn to Riya :-)
This child fills our house with laughter and noise – yes sometimes
too much noise as she is very headstrong and refuses to listen to anyone. Of
course I am a bit stern with her but my husband thinks nothing of indulging her
happily. She makes it a point to wave goodbye to him every single morning
standing alongside me with one hand wrapped around my knee and the other waving
enthusiastically to everyone in sight. Some days I help her climb the railing
of the portico so she can sit and wave in peace.
The other morning we were sending off S to office and Appu
to school with all the usual celebratory waving when my neighbour passed by in her car. I was lifting Riya onto the railing to perch while
I went to water the lawn – it was too cold to let her play in the water – when I
happened to notice my neighbour looking on with an
expression of disgust that was so palpable I felt like pulling the child away
from it. Here was someone whom I generally considered a nice person and I found myself faced with the irrefutable evidence of
her dislike of the bright and bubbly creature who was even then waving goodbye
to her with a happy smile. The reason was obvious – a maid’s child is not
eligible to be loved by someone of our ‘class’ – her dark colour was an obvious
stigma – how dare I walk around with her, play with her or carry her! I have
heard more than one denizen of this sought-after residential complex bemoan the
fact that servants’ kids are allowed too much leeway – they would undoubtedly
spoil our kids and they would definitely steal.
I let Riya play with the water that day and she did so
happily, oblivious of the distaste of the wonderful neighbours in my immediate
environment. The maid next door however is very fond of her and she greets her
very warmly each morning when she sees us at our gardening. The one Sunday
morning when Mahi, Riya and I were splashing each other on the lawn saw even
the dour-faced housekeeping staff who had come to pick up the garbage, breaking
out in smiles. By the time we were done we had a little audience just watching
and enjoying the sight of three crazy creatures having a bit of fun. The
laughter of children can make anyone want to laugh again – silly pure unalloyed
pleasure is the blessing of kids – we have it in small bursts of rare joy but
they have it always. Somehow I notice that nowadays children are losing that
ability earlier in life so that even a five year old seems worldlier and less
carefree than I remember myself being at ten. Appu, however, is blessed with
that perfect belly-shaking laughter even at twelve and one has to see him with
Riya to know how beautiful the sight of simple affection can be.
I respect Riya tremendously – she is two years old and so
very independent. She speaks clearly in Bengali and while I have no idea what
she says most of the time, she perseveres quite patiently with me till I manage
to get the gist of her conversation. She is also immensely intelligent and
knows the weeds from the grass naturally, can cross a busy road by herself, can
understand the importance of washing hands after my elaborate mime sessions.
Why do we not see even a child with love? Have we all become
so cynical and judgmental that only sanitized sights will give us happiness? I
pity the neighbour who cannot see the beauty in a soul and only thinks a fair
skin is worthy of affection. I feel sad for the day when this little one will comprehend
the disgust of those who are deficient but appear wealthy. If only people would
learn to see with their hearts, how much happier this world would be...
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